Your relationship is over and you are wondering how to break up gently. Your decision is made and it is final. True to the words in the song, breaking-up is hard to do and there is no magical recipe to make it easier however, there are certain ways of announcing your intentions in a respectful and empathetic way.

Here are 5 points to consider :

1- Break-ups and surprises don't go well together. Start preparing the other one in very subtle ways.

2- Treat your partner with respect. Acknowledge the love that existed between the two of you but also admit that it is insufficient for you to go on for the long term.

3- Accept your part of the responsibility and don't look to blame the other. You each have your own contributions to the demise of the couple but now is not the time to make an in-depth analysis of the situation. Don't let the other maintain hope of a reconciliation.

4- Accept any negative comments with dignity because you will surely receive some. Give your former partner the chance to express his or her feelings, but don't stretch out the conversation for a lengthy amount of time.

5- Don't beat yourself up over this. It's ok for you to feel happy and liberated from a relationship that was going nowhere. Give yourself the chance to savor your life and the possibility of meeting new people. By moving on, you will also allow your ''ex'' to have the necessary space needed to heal and to move on to a fulfilled life.

Joan S. Paiement