Many women tell me: “ Because of my success, I scare men away.”
This idea comes up often… and it’s frequently reinforced by their female friends. Wanting to be supportive, these friends always find a flattering explanation for why their friend rarely gets a second date: “It’s because you intimidate them”, “You’re too smart for them”, “They can’t keep up with you.”
In reality, it’s not success that scares men. On the contrary, the men who come to Intermezzo are attracted to intelligent, accomplished women who are passionate about what they do. The real issue lies elsewhere.
The Real Missing Piece: Femininity
Some women, without realizing it, carry their professional posture into their dating life. They stay in “executive mode” — decisive leadership, direct tone, quick decision-making. These qualities are valuable in the workplace… but can create emotional distance in a romantic context.
A man is not looking to go on a date with a CEO. He wants to meet a woman. A woman who can also be soft, playful, and sometimes vulnerable — in short, a woman who expresses her femininity.
Being feminine doesn’t mean giving up your ambitions or making yourself small. It simply means allowing the other person to enter your world, leaving space for him to contribute, protect, and court you.
In love, it’s not about proving your professional worth — it’s about creating an emotional connection. And more often than not, it’s this connection, far more than your résumé or bank account, that determines whether a man will be ”afraid” or not.
