As a matchmaker, I know that women often share every detail of their dating or matchmaking journey with their girlfriends — while men tend to keep it far more private.
But is it really a good idea to bring your friends along for the ride?
Definitely not — and here’s why:
When you invite friends into your dating process, you also invite their opinions, biases, and personal experiences — which may have nothing to do with your situation. A friend might project her own disappointments or fears onto your matches, influencing how you perceive someone before you’ve had the chance to form your own opinion.
Even well-meaning friends can unintentionally derail your progress. They may comment on superficial details, compare your date to their own partners, or reinforce limiting beliefs (“Men are intimidated by successful women” or “If he really liked you, he would have called sooner”). Suddenly, your own feelings get tangled up with their narratives.
Dating — especially when guided by a professional matchmaker — is a deeply personal journey. The more voices you let into it, the harder it becomes to hear your own. The success of this journey depends on trusting one voice only: your matchmaker’s. They see the bigger picture, they know the plan, and they are the only one with all the relevant information and strategy to help you find the right partner.
At the end of the day, the only opinion that matters about your match is yours. Trust your instincts, trust the process, and most importantly, trust your matchmaker.
