As a professional matchmaker, I hear a lot of unique preferences, deal-breakers, and must-haves. But lately, one request keeps surfacing more and more:
“Please don’t match me with someone who’s addicted to social media.”
It’s not just a passing trend—it’s a reflection of how our relationship with technology, attention, and connection has shifted over time. For many singles, a partner’s constant scrolling, photographing every meal, or living life through their Instagram stories isn’t just annoying—it feels incompatible with the kind of intimacy they crave.
Times Have Changed—And So Have Expectations
In the early days of social media, it was fun, new, and often seen as a harmless distraction. But now, for some, it’s a genuine lifestyle—a space where they work, promote, engage, and build their personal brand. For others, it’s become a habitual escape that can pull them out of the present moment, even when they’re sitting across from someone they care about.
This isn’t about good or bad. It’s about compatibility.
What I often explain to clients is this: If someone is deeply immersed in social media—whether as part of their job, their creative outlet, or simply their daily rhythm—that’s unlikely to change. Just as you wouldn’t ask someone to stop being introverted or ambitious, asking them to disengage from social media can feel like asking them to deny a part of themselves.
Yes, they may put their phone down for a while in the early stages of dating. They may even try to limit their screen time to make a good impression. But if it’s a core part of who they are—whether professionally or personally—it will come back. Not out of malice or deception, but because that’s simply how they operate.
On the flip side, if someone thrives on in-person connection, long conversations, and undivided attention, they’re going to feel unseen or neglected by a partner who is perpetually distracted by a screen.
The Danger of Hoping They’ll Change
This is where mismatches happen. One person hopes their partner will “tone it down.” The other feels criticized for how they live their life. Resentment builds, and both feel misunderstood. Neither is wrong—but they’re wrong for each other.
This is why I take these kinds of preferences seriously when matching. It’s not about judging one lifestyle or another. It’s about knowing that sustainable relationships come from alignment of values and lifestyle.
